Corporate Speak for Kn*bs - page sample & free checklist
View a preview of the book.
A p*sstake book...
Corporate Speak for kn*bs
Over a billion people in the world work in offices, places where dreams go to be crushed. This book is packed with ‘semi-professional’ advice for battling the forces of boredom and monotony. We take the p*ss out of corporate jargon, instead celebrating the things you want to say but can’t.
This book covers everything bullsh*t about corporate life (so everything), from ‘competitive salaries’ on job postings and generic interviews, through to ‘mission statements’ with more holes than the titanic. We cover useful phrases for video calls, emails and meetings that thinly veil your real feelings.
Overview
In the chaotic, caffeine-fuelled realm of the modern workplace, a new language has emerged. It's a language designed to mystify, confound, and p*ss off the uninitiated. Welcome to the world of corporate speak and office slang, where words like synergy, pivot, and bandwidth reign supreme, and the only thing transparent is the attempt to sound like a w*nker.
As stated below > Read the F***ing email.
Hope this helps > I am now ending this conversation
- ‘What I really mean’ translations including ‘get our ducks in a row’, and ‘let’s align on this’.
- Tactfully tell someone to f*ck off on calls, instant messaging and in person, without getting fired…
- Satirical office bulletins including ‘Study finds the best work-life balance is achieved by quitting job and f*cking off’
- Essential office bullsh*t survival checklists
"This book made me laugh so hard I almost cried. Then I remembered how sh*t my job is and I did cry."